I dread being asked my stance on abortion. Not because I’m scared to give an answer, but because my answer doesn’t fit neatly into a “pro-choice” or “pro-life” package.

Sometimes it seems easier just to stay silent.

American discourse sucks at nuance and the current abortion debate is so grotesque that it seems impossible to have a conversation that fully captures the complexity of reproductive rights.

If you want the short version of my view, I’m pro-choice.

If you want the long version – well, how much time do you have?

I believe in bodily autonomy (it’s why, while pro-vaccine, I am against government vaccine mandates).

But pro-choice is rarely absolute.

All but six states – Oregon, Alaska, Colorado, New Mexico, Vermont, New Jersey – and the District of Columbia restrict abortion in some manner.

Here in Washington state, abortion is legal up to fetal viability, which is defined by state law as “the point in the pregnancy when, in the judgment of the physician on the particular facts of the case before such physician, there is a reasonable likelihood of the fetus's sustained survival outside the uterus without the application of extraordinary medical measures.”

Personally, I believe in a woman’s right to choose up to 24 weeks. Longer if bringing the pregnancy to term endangers the life of the mother.

But I also believe this: abortion is not something to be celebrated, nor should it be considered a suitable alternative to widely available methods of contraception.

I believe most women who decide to have an abortion make that choice with the weight of careful consideration. But those who brag about the ease in which they decided to terminate their unborn child are only fueling a movement to take the right to choose away entirely.

I’m reminded of when actress Martha Plimpton bragged that she got her first abortion in Seattle.

“It was my best one!” she said as the crowd laughed. “If I could Yelp review it, I totally would.”

On Tuesday, New York Attorney General Letitia James told a cheering crowd about how, 20 years ago, she “walked proudly” into Planned Parenthood to get an abortion. In Baltimore, two small girls held signs at a rally with their parents that read “abortion is normal.” Photos circulated online of a woman who claimed to have had the procedure 21 times.

Even as someone who is opposed to the erosion of reproductive rights, I find casual dismissal of abortion quite alarming.

On the other end of the spectrum, I can hardly stomach the disgusting way in which some anti-abortion activists choose to voice their opinions.

On Twitter, pro-life author Lila Rose posted a graphic image of a late-term aborted baby. It came across my timeline without warning. What if a woman who lost a pregnancy saw that? Can you imagine how damaging it would be?

In D.C., as Senator Elizabeth Warren gave a speech in front of the U.S. Supreme Court, a counter-protester shouted repeatedly about her wanting to “dismember children in the womb.”

Republican Congressman Matt Gaetz made fun of protesters who were rallying against the possible reversal of Roe, calling them “over-educated, under-loved millennials who sadly return from protests to a lonely microwave dinner with their cats, and no bumble matches.”

And as if America didn’t have enough tearing us apart at the moment, Democratic Congressman Eric Swalwell saw his country’s collective pain as an opportunity to entice voters.

“The Republicans won’t stop with banning abortion. They want to ban interracial marriage. Do you want to save that? Well, then you should probably vote,” he tweeted, linking to a registration site.

It is enough crazy to keep moderates from engaging in the debate altogether.

Let’s be clear: We will never have a national consensus on abortion. But if we hope to have a true national dialogue, we must learn to discuss it with the nuance, gravity, compassion, and understanding that the subject demands.

That means the most reasonable among us need to join the conversation.

Abortion is a difficult subject. But we can’t let the extremes be the only ones talking about it.